Saturday, December 30, 2006

What I wanted to say...

I want to help you, but I’m not sure I’m the right person to do what you want to do. I develop very good relationships, but I don’t want to persuade everyone I meet. I’m not wired like that. And I don’t really like to be around people who are wired like that.

You’ve known me for a long time now. You pretty much know what I am made of. At some point you are going to have to decide if you are satisfied with what you’ve got. You are going to have to accept me as I am or move on. There may be things I want to work on, for myself, but the days of my responding to your every whim are over. I know you will say this is good, but the first time I turn a blind eye to your frustration, you will realize you didn’t mean it.

You’ve known there are those you can’t change, but I’ve been putty in your hands. Was that the right decision? I allowed you to have that power over me. And I don’t think I am any worse off for it, but I’ve grown tired. We’ve all grown tired.

Maybe this is where it gets good. Maybe this is where the rubber meets the road. Will I stand strong? Yes I think so. I think I will. It’s something about having turned 40.

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