Sam and I have different appetites for risk. When we first met he was Captain Cautious, always on the lookout for potential dangers. I, on the other hand, loved adventure and exploration. I loved intensity. Sam loved calm.
Sam worried that Katherine, at age 10, might stick her fingers in a wall outlet next to her bed while she slept. Meanwhile, I was rafting white water and jumping from airplanes.
I teased Sam about his caution. He was aghast at my fearlessness. We were on opposite ends of the “risk taker” spectrum, or so it seemed.
About 6 months into our dating, I came across a magazine article on America’s appetite for risk. The article included a “find your risk quotient” self-quiz. I love taking these types of tests, and I was also eager to validate my superior “risk quotient.”
The first two questions were easy.
Q: If given the opportunity to skydive, would you?
A: Absolutely.
Q: Would you travel to a foreign country alone?
A: Of course.
And then they threw a curve.
Q: Would you use your life savings to start a business?
A: Huh? Um, well, I’d rather not.
Q: When you walk into a crowded room filled with people you don’t know, what is your first instinct?
A: Easy. My instinct is to run and hide in the bathroom.
Q: Would you rush into a burning building to save a stranger?
A: Definitely.
Q: Would you bet a month’s wages at a casino?
A: No way. (not even a day’s wage)
There were 50 or so questions, covering all types of risk, including many (like business and social risk) I had not previously considered. My score was solidly average. Hmmm.
I asked Sam to take the quiz. He also scored a solid average. In fact, our scores turned out to be exactly the same, but as we read through the questions we realized our answers were opposites in nearly every instance.
I embraced physical risk and situational risk, but stayed as far away as possible from social and financial risk. Sam kept a safe distance from physical and situational risk, but was hard pressed to see the risk in the social and financial situations presented. I’m a banker and he’s an entrepreneur. It made sense but it was also fascinating.
Over the years, we’ve adjusted to each other’s sense of risk, but not without some grumbling. More often than not I try to drag Sam along on one of my mini-adventures. The more he resists, the more stubborn I become. Generally he tolerates me and on more than one occasion he has saved my butt.
So the dream I had just before waking Saturday morning in Napa was particularly telling and entertaining. It went something like this…
We are driving down a 2-lane road somewhere in rural America. The skies are dark and menacing as a storm brews. We come to a fork in the road. It is clearly the road less traveled, which means it holds great allure for me.
“Let’s go down this road,” I suggest.
“I’d rather not,” Sam answers dryly.
“Why not!” I demand.
“Because there are tornadoes forming down that road.”
“There are not! Where?”
“Right there,” Sam points.
Sure enough, right there in front of us, but certainly a safe distance away, is a white tornado snaking toward the ground.
“Oh my God!! That is so cool. Let’s try to get closer! Go down that road!” I insist excitedly.
“I would really rather not,” Sam says deliberately and through clenched teeth.
“Come on! Go! Go! Let’s go check it out. It’s not that big of a deal. Hurry!” I am beside myself with eagerness.
Sam turns down the road and the tornado is straight ahead a couple of miles. As I watch, dumbstruck, several more tornadoes begin to drop from the clouds. I suddenly realize there are at least 7 tornadoes on the horizon and they are beginning to encircle us.
“Um, maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.” I venture.
Without saying a word, but with a distinct look of “I’ve known this all along, and I can’t believe it took you this long to figure it out” Sam pulls hard on the steering wheel, whipping the car back around in the opposite direction. He floors it and I can hear the tornadoes close behind us.
“Oh man! I can’t believe all these tornadoes came out of nowhere! Good grief. Drive as fast as you can – ok?” I instruct him.
“I am!” he answers through a still clenched jaw.
We race down the road, just a mile or so ahead of the tornadoes, which seem to be in hot pursuit.
And then the dream morphs into something else.
I love that I had this dream. It was so perfectly lucid, it's hard to believe I was asleep.
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