A lot of living to do before I die

Visiting with my 82 year old neighbor Charlana yesterday…

Me:
How’s Bob?

Charlana:
Not well. He’s not coming home – he’s going to die in that nursing home. (tears up) I’m sorry. I get emotional about it.

Me:
Oh Charlana - don't apologize. I would be emotional too if I were in your shoes. It’s ok.

Charlana:
They think I am a mean old woman down there at the nursing home.

Me:
Why?

Charlana:
They asked me if I wanted to move in with him, live there with him in that death row place, you know? I told them No I Did Not Want To Move There. I told them I needed my space. I told them I had a lot of living to do before I died. I do! I have a lot of things I plan to do before I die – a lot of living still to do.

Me:
I think that is cool Charlana. You have to take care of yourself too.

Charlana:
I love Bob. He is my husband. I mean – it’s not like wild, hot passionate love or anything like that. It used to be, but that went out the window a long time ago. I wish I could still have that, but we’re old now.

(note – Charlana is without a doubt the spunkiest and sexiest 82 year old I have EVER seen)

Charlana:
But he is my husband, the father of my children. I married Bob because he had all the qualities I wanted to pass on to my children. I knew I needed someone to balance out my headstrong nature. He is a good man. (she tears up again)

Me:
Why did Bob have to go back to the nursing home? I thought he was better?

Charlana:
He fell and broke his other hip. He didn’t even tell me about it at first, and when he did tell me he fell, I just said “oh – inside or out?”. I didn’t realize. But later, it got worse, and he couldn’t walk and I couldn’t lift him, so he just laid down on the floor.

Me:
Did you call an ambulance? I didn’t see it come. Sam and I could have come over and helped.

Charlana:
I didn’t call the ambulance for a couple of days.

Me:
A couple of days?

Charlana:
I know. They were really upset with me at the hospital. Bob knew. He knew that once he went he wasn’t coming back home. He knew, and I knew. We weren’t in any hurry. He just slept on the floor for a couple of days. They made a big deal about it at the hospital. They thought I was so mean. I wanted to tell them it was nothing - just like camping.

Me:
Is he upset about being there? In the nursing home?

Charlana:
He wants to come home. Every time I visit he thinks I am there to take him home. It’s pretty hard. And then one of the nurses will suggest I just move in with him. She doesn’t understand. I’ve got a lot of living to do before I die. A lot of living to do.