The Care and Feeding of an Invisible Rhino

There’s an invisible rhinoceros that lives in our house. I know that probably seems strange, but she’s become quite a valued member of our family.

Her name is Tulip and she came to live with us from the Zoo. A couple of summers ago, after a rhino was born to the Kansas City Zoo, the Star held a contest to name the 250 lb. baby. Sam and I discussed it and settled on the name Tulip. It was spring. She was 250 lbs on her way to 2700 lbs. We thought she might feel self conscious about her weight as she got older, not to mention her nose, and so we thought a delicate name like Tulip would be perfect. And did I mention it was spring? We filled out our ballot, sent in the form and waited.

The results were announced several weeks later, and Tulip was not the winning entry. The Star and the Zoo chose a Swahili name, which certainly spoke to her African heritage, but we were nonetheless, non-plussed.

And apparently, so was Tulip, because a couple of days later she showed up at our house and has been living here ever since.

You would think she would take up a lot of room, but she really doesn’t. She’s quite tidy and very quiet. In fact, sometimes we forget she is here. She reminds us with a gentle poke to our ribs with the tip of her horn. I’ll be going about my day, minding my own business, when out of the blue, I’ll feel her poke me in the side or in the stomach. She is always very gentle and has a delightfully playful spirit. She’s also a very good sport. Anytime something turns up missing, one of us will exclaim, “Tulip must have taken it!” Normally we find that we’ve just misplaced it, but she is a good sport about this and doesn’t seem to mind our blaming her.

My 5-year-old nephew Garrett, knows about Tulip. She sometimes goes with me to his house to help baby-sit. He knows that if he feels a little poke to his ribs that “that ol’ rhinoceros” has come along to help baby-sit. Garrett has two invisible friends, Sikki and Sakka and I suggested that they might like to play with Tulip some night. “No” he replied. “They don’t like to play with rhinoceroses. Someone might get hurt.” Very wise advice from a 5-year-old.

No one thinks twice about a 5 year old having an invisible friend, but I am sure that you, like most others who have read this post, are wondering how on earth an otherwise normal family of reasonable people could honestly believe they have an invisible rhino living under their roof.

It’s a fair question. And I’ll just leave it at that.